Thursday, March 27, 2014

Teenage Mutant CG Turtles


So this took me by surprise was planning different topics and out of nowhere I found out that there is now a trailer for the Bay helmed Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. This of course made it time to drop everything and briefly talk about it.

So first Megan Fox as April O'neil.... yeah it's going to suck but you know it's going to suck. Even her fainting didn't seem to work. That and apparently the makers of this film were too lazy to even dye her hair. Also the first shot of her face in her trailer just sums up how she is probably going to be in this movie.


Seriously her eyes look deader than a perverts anime girl love pillow.

Then there is the actions shots which look like it is just going to be the Transformers films again. Shaky and impossible to see exactly what the hell is going on. Also exploding buildings because Bay.

On top of that the lighting is starting to make it look like the Star Trek reboot. I mean I don't hate that film but yeah the lighting like there is constantly flash bangs going off gets annoying.

Also the narration is by what I think is the Shredder for this film. I'm not going to go into the casting though because everyone else has and I'll just let people judge how the role is filled when it comes out. Though at the same time he give this speech of him and April's father "making" heroes. So does that mean Shredder made the ooze? Do they have something to do with mutating the turtles? Also how then does Splinter factor into all of it? Is Splinter in the film? Have they changed his backstory? I myself have a few worst case scenarios in my head but for now it is a wait on new information.

Then we get to the men, boys, teenagers, or insert pronoun here of the hour our Ninja Turtles. They are seeming to be full CG because Hollywood hates practical effects now I guess and as for there looks...


Well if this is what a Ninja Turtle is now I think I may have found a long lost relative who made their film debut twenty years ago.


Yeah I'm at this rate going to stick with the old movie costumes myself. As for personalities? Well really don't get enough with anyone but they aren't super complex so shouldn't be that hard to mess up... I mean yeah Megatron was made a lackey to the Fallen and kinda joined the final fight in Dark of the Moon only because some underwear model questioned his robot manhood .... uh let's just move on to final thoughts.

So am I enraged by this trailer? Well no in fact I can't find the same bile for this film as I do the Transformers films. Which I think primarily stands on the fact the older film exists.



Live action turtles have already been delivered so unlike Transformers which the only live action offerings that exist are the awful Bay ones while for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles I can just watch the old one and ignore the new ones existence.

That or my expectations have been lowered so far it is impossible to be anymore disappointed than I already am. Whatever works really.

No comments:

Post a Comment